Name:

Type of Teacher:

Year Completed:

Assignment Commentary:

Adde

English

2001

We read the The Catcher in the Rye in English class this year. After going on our 9th grade retreat, our assignment was to write about the retreat as if we were Holden Caulfield.
The Retreat
I could probably tell you about the whole goddam retreat, but I don't feel like it. You'd be bored as hell if I did anyway. You really would. You'd be surprised how many phonies and jerks we've got around here. There's enough of them to make a whole goddam circus. There really is.

Let me tell you about this one girl. Total phony. She'd walk around all day in her fancy shoes and a goddam cardigan. She wore this crumby colored lipstick and everytime I glanced over at her she was looking at herself in her goddam compact. Smiling and primping like she was the Queen of Sheeba. But what really depressed me was this game we had to play with a baseball. I hated this game but it sort of made me think of this time when Phoebe was around six and I was trying to teach her how to throw a baseball. I set her up in the perfect stance. You should've seen her. She had these little red sneakers on and a real serious look on her face. You should've seen her. So I set her up and then got into my position to catch the ball. I told her to throw it to me as hard as she could just like we'd been practicing. She threw it hard alright. It hit me smack in the eye. I had a goddam shiner like you've never seen. Boy did it hurt! Anyway, we had to play this game where you throw a baseball to someone and say their name. You know, to get to know everyone. You could tell we all thought it was a pretty lousy game if you want to know the truth. So I threw the "Queen of Sheeba" the ball. She barely even attempted to catch it. She was probably too afraid of breaking a goddam nail. She just stood there like a damsel in distress waiting for someone to pick it up for her. Boy did it make me mad. It really did.

We had this bastard of a teacher on the bus going home. He tried to get us to sing some goddam songs. You should've seen all those jerks singing in unison. They looked like a truckload of idiots. I was about ready to puke. The teacher noticed I wasn't singing along with all the other morons so he came over and asked me why. I told him I had a terribly sore throat, but that everyone else sounded just grand. He nodded and returned to his seat. Jesus what a lousy retreat. It makes me depressed just thinking about it.